＊feeling?? ＊

i really dun know how to control my mind

what thing that i really need now?

a relationship? love? a boyfriend? or just friend?

he treat me well, take care me all the while i need

he treat me nice, bring me lots of funs

he treat me like his lovely pet, follow what i want and wish

that is all i want from my boyfriend~~~

but,

i still cant open my heart to accept 

still thinking of past, still worry, still cant get myself out of the past >.<

argh~~~!!!!! i really super duper stupid and like a fool T_T

i hope to be better, 

i thought that i did well, enjoyed with my friends and him

i thought he really will be my next mr right

but why i still wan to escape

still want to keep a distance with him

i really dun understand

always told him that i not fully prepared yet

to get into another relationship

but how long i need to recover back?

i dun noe

i worry that i will hurt him one day

i scare i cant give those happiness to him

i nervous i not his miss right too 

haiz... all these fucking mind always appear in my mind

how to solve them >.<

what step i need to take? i need a consultant~~~~~~~